Friday, September 16, 2011

Marriage - Nice article

MARRIAGE

When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly.
She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?

I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company.
She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane.

When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.
She requested that every day for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Jane about my wife's divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outsidethe door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.
On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.

Suddenly it hit me... she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy.
I drove to office.... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind...I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart.
Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.

At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead.
My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push thru with the divorce.-- At least, in the eyes of our son--- I'm a loving husband....

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!

If you don't share this, nothing will happen to you.

If you do, you just might save a marriage.
Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.

i've read this many times and each times it has always made me in tear :)
such a nice and touching story

Saturday, August 20, 2011

Tuhan itu baik sekali

Jadi ceritanya gini.

Kira2 sebulan yang lalu, aq sama suami sedang berbelanja di hypermart. Aq lg mencari sabun mandi dan suami mencari shampoo.

Selama ini aq make sabun mandi suamiku krn baunya yg seger. Aq ga trlalu suka yg milky or fruity or sweet.

Maren sempet beli sabun mandi d*** yg wangi lemon. Tapi dasar nya dari sabun yg milky jadinya walaupun wangi citrus tetep aja ada bau milky. So i force myself to use it. Sampe setengah i leave it. Kembali memakai sabun suamiku.

Until a month ago aq ke hyper pengen beli sabun mandi yg lain.
Aq liat dari L**, B****, sama C****.
Yg trakhir kluaran baru.
Aq cium baunya tp koq baunya nyenget, milky bgt gitu. Smua sabun nya pasti yg cairannya putih kental. Eneq bgt sama baunya. Trus aq liat eh ada Pal******, aq pake ini waktu skul di oz. Trus udh mau ambil. Tapi liat harga lah dobel harganya yg local :(

Oiya bagi aq hrganya cukup lumayan krn keuangan kita lg squeezy pada saat ini, maybe kalo bagi yg lain.
Ya ampun sebotol 250ml cuman 34 rebu. Kalo aq dlu mah cuek aja itu mah masi murah But for me utk saat ini cukup perlu dipertimbangkan hehehe...

Well cutting short. Aq nanya hubby, i love this smells..aq ga suka yg lain. Perlu beli ga yah.
Hubby say ya terserah kamu sih.
Cuman aq mikir2 akhirnya aq ambil yg pling murah which is Car*x.

Tp dlm hati sih pengen banget cuman ya udah deh ga pa pa.
Aq juga ga ngerengek minta Tuhan:)
Udh terbiasa diajar Tuhan utk 'ya udahlah' jadi ga manja lagi.

Anywayyy pake cuman bbrp kali i stopped balik lg ke sabun hubby.

Trus tadi pas belanja, aq ga keingetan sabun mandi, not even in my shopping list. Tp kayak diingetin beli sabun mandi.

Jadi aq blg sama adikku, aq pengennnnnn bgt beli sabun Palm****e, btw, aq blanja sama adikku mlm ini.

We walked towards that section.
Trus pas di section sabun yg aq mau si ms.P. I cant believe what i saw

Its say there...buy 1 get 1.
I was like hah???
Kalo bagi 2 jadi cuman sebotol rp. 17.000.lalu aq bandingin sama yg murah cuman beda bbrp ribu per botol. Compare to the quality it is much more worthed.. Im so happy thank You God :) thank U Jesus..

I grab 4 pcs hihihi..
Tuhan itu baik yah..asal kita mau bersabar menunggu, dan kita tidak memaksakan keinginan kita. Tuhan pasti akan kasih yg terbaik buat kita.

Iya donk..Tuhan jg mau bikin kita happy terus kok :) Dia senang bikin kita happy :)

Ya asalkan kita punya humble heart, and seek Him first.

God bless


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

No bake raspberry cheesecake or Old fashion chocolate cake

i'm in love with baking :) cooking is yet to come i guess..

so it pop up in mind that i wanna make something Cheesy or Chocolaty

The hardest things living with 2 families in one house is that they don't eat the same food / flavour.

if i make cheesecake only 3 max 4 people eat that.
if i make chocolate cake hmm...that'll be quite a number of people who liked 'em. esp. kids..

hmm..i think i might go for chocolate cake so the kids (with the kids i mean hubby nephew) all 3 of 'em prefer chocolate then cheese :D

Here are the recipe : i adopt from paris pastry blogspot :D

Here's the link :
http://parispastry.blogspot.com/2011/01/old-fashioned-chocolate-cake.html

or might wanna make this :
http://parispastry.blogspot.com/2011/07/no-bake-raspberry-cheesecake.html

we'll see later on :D

Monday, August 15, 2011

Mille Feuille Crêpes cake Recipe "Try out"

 so 2 days ago i decided to make this cake, after work. i'm craving for this for long time but never have the gut to made them. Thanks to masterchef australia and thanks to the blogger that share recipe :)

i can't bear the craving any longer i decided to made and leave it overnight. so yesterday i start to make the crepes, it took me 2 hours to made this, but its all worthed.

ah...as for me because i forget to buy the assemble part cream, i made the pastry cream and the crepes in advance.lol..


the next day when i add the assemble cream to the pastry cream it won't stick, so i whisk it vigorously, yes it does stick but it turns out not as smooth as the recipe's one :)


well despite that minor, it's still yummy tho :D. Might try it again some other time :D


i got about 30 crepes coz i like it thin :)

Here are the recipe.
i also looked at this one here
http://www.recipelink.com/mf/14/19746

source : http://parispastry.blogspot.com/2009/02/mille-feuille-crepes-cake.html

Mille Feuille Crêpes Cake recipe: Batter adapted from "Joy of Cooking", pastry cream adapted from "Desserts" by Pierre Herme.

Ingredients for crêpes batter:
- 6 tablespoons butter
- 3 cups milk
- 6 eggs
- 1 ½ cups all-purpose flour
- 7 tablespoons sugar
- ½ teaspoon salt

Ingredients for vanilla pastry cream:
- 2 cups milk
- 1 tablespoon pure vanilla extract
- 6 egg yolks
- ½ cup sugar
- 1/3 cup cornstarch, sifted
- 3 ½ tablespoons butter

Ingredients for assembling cake:
- 2 cups heavy cream
- 1 tablespoon sugar
- 3 tablespoons Kirsch (I omitted this) --> me too

 - Confectioners' sugar, optional

Instructions for crêpes batter:
- The day before serving the cake, make the crêpes batter and the pastry cream.
- Cook the butter in a small pan until it is brown like hazelnuts.
- In a large pan, heat the milk until steaming. Allow to cool for 10 minutes.
- With a mixer on medium-low speed, beat together the eggs, flour, sugar and salt. Slowly add the hot milk and browned butter. Pour into a contair with a spout, cover and refrigerate overnight. Bring batter to room temperature.

- Place a nonstick or seasoned 9-inch crêpe pan over medium heat and cover the surface with oil. Add 3 tablespoons batter and swirl to cover the surface. Cook until the bottom just begins to brown, about 1 minute. (you need to peek constantly, do this with a rubber spatula) Then carefully lift an edge and flip the crêpe with your fingers. (the crêpes are super hot, so cover your fingertops, or just your thumbs, with a band aid) Cook on the other side for 5 seconds. Flip the crêpe onto a flat surface. Repeat until you have 20 perfect crêpes. (I got about 17 crêpes)

Instructions for vanilla pastry cream:
- Bring the milk to a boil. Turn off the heat and stir in the vanilla, then set aside for 10 minutes.
- Fill a large bowl with ice and set aside a small bowl that can hold the finished pastry cream and be placed in this ice bath.

- In a medium heavy-bottomed pan, whisk together the egg yolks, sugar and cornstarch. Gradually whisk in the hot milk. Then place the pan over high heat and bring to boil, whisking vigorously for 1 to 2 minutes.
- Press the pastry cream through a fine-meshed sieve into the small bowl. Set the bowl in the ice bath and stir until the temperature reaches 140 degrees on a thermometer. Stir in the butter. Cover and refrigerate overnight.

Instructions for assembling cake:
- Whip the heavy cream with the sugar and Kirsch. Fold a quarter of the whipped cream into the pastry cream, then the rest.
- Lay 1 crêpe on a cake plate. Using an a rubber or icing spatula, cover with a layer of pastry cream. Repeat until you've used all of the crêpes. Lay the best-looking crêpe on top.
- Chill for 2 hours. Dust with sifted confectionars' sugar. When ready to serve, slice it like a cake.



Here's mine :D 
Assemble cream
the assemble cream (mix with pastry cream)

the stack of crepes

very 1st layer

the after 3 hours refrigerated

tadaaa....yummmm..the look itself is so so..but taste hmm..



Monday, August 1, 2011

IPAD 2 --> ios 5

Yihaaaaa...luv luv luv luving it...

IPAD 2 with ios 5..YAYYY...Awesomee...
still beta version tho and altho we have to pay quite dear for those but its all worthed. :D

you can do all this finger moves :D Which is new thing for us hahaha..

Here's the sneak peek :D
http://www.apple.com/ios/ios5/features.html
http://gadgetfeel.com/6-finger-moves-for-the-ipad-2-that-you-should-know/

Really need "extra" for this thing.
- extra money
- extra work
- extra queuing

First : we need to queue when buying. we get it @ibox central park with @VJauw and hubby
second : we have to pay cash hahahahaha..coz the credit card has problem rrrr...
third : we need to buy the uber expensive casing!
forth : now with the upgrade to ios 5 need to pay xtra money :D

what a TOY :D

He is Good. He is soo Good.. He is Jesus

since friday 2 weeks ago..back from COOL / FA (Family Altar) where a group of people praise together and then share about the goodness of our God.

so we sang this song.
Apapun yang terjadi dalam hidupku ini
tak pernah ku ragukan kasihMu Tuhan
lewat gunung yang tinggi
lewat lembah yang curam
Kau berfirman dan sembuhkanku
Kau bersabda dan slamatkanku
tak ada yang mustahil bagiMu
Yesus ku percaya padaMu

then back home..I already forget the tones, i've asked family at home but none get it. they sang this instead
apapun yang terjadi di dalam hidupku
selalu ku berkata Tuhan Yesus baik.

Nah..not that..so i asked Holy Spirit. Holy Spirit teach me please that song, the one we sing at FA. :(
but still i can't remember.

so the next friday which is, last friday..in my desperate act. i keep on asking Holy spirit.
mum in law suddenly sang that song. and i was like..
"ahhhhhh that song that song that song" i was looking for the tonessss..ahhh thanku Holy Spirit.
then last sunday at church, the last songs. they sang this song..hahahahaha...
and i'm in tears:D

and the preaching has answered my questions.

Well God..i know for sure there are no "by chance or accidentally" U have arrange everything :)

Thank You Jesus. love You..

Friday, July 22, 2011

KOM 100 - Father Son Holy Spirit

Yesterday in KOM 100.

One of the question is this...

God is One but often divide into 3 Person, which is
Father
Son
Holy Spirit

Why?
They are One but they act into you can say 3 functions and represents  ;
Father : The creator
Son    : The Doer
Holy Spirit : The Helper

Father : creates us, Father that wants us to be saved
Son  : who do Father will, sacrifice himself, to redeem us from our sin, from death and gives us an eternal life.
who shows us the way to Father in heaven. He is Jesus Christ - Our saviour 
Holy Spirit : who helps us going thru everything, helps us to be like Him - Jesus, helps us to fight our sin, remind us and many things you can think of.

then why 3?
coz we human consists of : Spirit (Father), Soul (Holy Spirit), Flesh (Jesus Christ)
coz Jesus came to this world in Flesh, be like us.

Why? Why? such a fuss to saved us humans? who are we that He the creator wants to saved us from this sinner world.
Hmm...yeah me often asked that, who are we Lord that You came into this world as Jesus Christ, to saved us from sin and gives us eternal life. i can't understand.

In Genesis it says
Genesis 1 : 26
"And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth"

so..each all of us human represent God's images, and if we trust in Son (Jesus Christ) we will be saved coz Jesus says in Joh 14:6
"Jesus saith unto him, i am the way, the truth, and the life: no man commeth unto the Father, but by me."

and God the Father himself said that too in;
Matthew 17 :5 : "While he yet spake, behold, a bright cloud overshadowed them: and behold a voice out of the cloud, which said, THIS IS MY BELOVED SON, in whom i am well pleased; hear ye him."

Mark 9:7 : "And there was a cloud that overshadowed them: and a voice came out of the cloud, saying, THIS IS MY BELOVED SON: HEAR HIM."

2 Peter 1 : 17 :"For He received from God the Father honour and glory, when there came such a voice to Him from the excellent glory, THIS IS MY BELOVED SON, in whom I AM WELL PLEASED."

John 1:34 : "And I saw, and bare record that THIS IS THE SON OF GOD."

so it is not only Jesus himself who says that HE IS THE SON OF GOD, but FATHER SAID THAT TOO.

* well u can correct me if i'm wrong. me just sharing :)
* actually i don't know why i'm writing about this. it's just when i scroll the facebook page i suddenly become so bored of the useless things so i closed down the page and suddenly popped in my mind. why not write this.

and Holy Spirit guide me to search for the verses. (Lucky us in electronic bible u can search one word and it appear :) )
but still without Holy Spirit guiding me, i don't even know what to search :D

like this is the first time for me, obey :p hihihi..gosh..what am i earlier..rebel kid :(

Father in heaven, i was wrong, i apologized, and thank you coz i know You will forgive me :)
in Matthew 6 : 14 :"For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you"

so in order to ask for Father forgiveness, we must first forgive our enemy, people that we hate, people that we fight with :D

It's hard, it's not easy for real..but remember we have the Helper who is Holy Spirit, He will helped us throught it..

i often say in my prayer " God i can't forgive this person with my own strength, but i want to forgive this person, please Holy Spirit make me"

then i'll feel in my heart (sometimes up to days hehehe) a pityness and then i'll forgive 'em right away sometimes took weeks or months hahaha..

but appear in my mind. if i don't forgive them then Father in heaven won't forgive me and that is my loss..my biggest LOSS. so i just surrender to Holy Spirit and He make everything easyyyy..just flow..

Well i think i'm done for now :) back to my work

love love love u Father Jesus Holy Spirit.
Thank u thank u thank u alotttt for choosing me :D

GOD BLESS YA ALL :D

Dedicated to You Jesus

This blog isn't all bout me or hubby or people around me anymore..it's about HIM who impact our lives :)

i will dedicated this blog for You Lord. Teach me to be commit to what i have say to You.
Teach me to be a responsible and reliable
daughter for You and my parents and parents in law,
wife, sister, boss for my staff, maid for You, student for You, friend and in everything and for anyone Lord

Like i have told You right Father...I wanna be like Jesus..my role model.

Process me, Teach me, Make me, Ask me, Tell me, Guide me...

Yes Lord Yes..Yes i wanna be Your loved one...

I wanna be an obedient student.
for I am not who I am anymore, but Christ in me should be bigger than me, fill me and rule me.

" Living according to Your Word "
it's not an easy job to do, but when we passed this, wowwww..i can tell ya. the impact was and is so big till i can't close my mouth.
This will be easy if you humble yourself and use your heart, not your brain :) and just do it :)

i can do it, why can't you. (read "my little testimony blog)

okey a little testimony to support this.

as i told you in my blog earlier, the first love is back right :) and how i now love reading bible and pray and praise.
i really thankkkk God so much for this.
so yesterday is pay day. (me and hubby hasn't been a responsible clerk. we have used the money more than we thought. we buy this and that, coz we have not realised yet that, this business is not belong to us, this is belong to God. anyhow, because we haven't been a responsible clerk yet, the money wasn't enough to pay supplier o..o )

so yesterday i pray. without any worries, i just say to God..Jesus, i pray to you, the money is not enough to pay the supplier, i asked for your mercy to please whether you gave us customer or the supplier forget to come and collect. hahaha..

and to my amaze. yesterday none of the supplier come and collect. they only come to exchange the invoice.

amazinggg rightttt :D HE IS SO GOOD. HE IS THE BEST :)

love love love Jesus..

PS : Frankly, before i never know how can one wrote love Jesus so deeply, i can never feel deeply in love with Him. but now i know how its feel :) and its an amazing feeling

Thursday, July 21, 2011

My little testimony about Faith - Kesaksian kecil ku

okay.. Faith the word i guess...
Well this is a connecting lesson story :D...u'll know what i meant when u finished reading it.

a week earlier : in my mind i was thinking
"God how to write this esay, Living according to word of God, living IN the word of God..."
(Believe me He hears you, whatever you are going to say or even without u saying it, He knew)

on sunday : songs : God is able to do all things, in the past, present and forever

then couple days ago one lady that i introduce to Jesus, now she believe in Jesus.
text me, and she said " E, i have read about Jesus in Matthew and Marcus, i'm so touched and so interested in Jesus in person. The way HE treated people, how HE love everyone and not judging"

i'm stunned..my heart says to me "Have you touched people heart as Jesus touched people heart?"

i kept it in my heart and suddenly speak to myself, a strong will..."I will be like Jesus, I wanna be like Jesus..He is my role model. I wanna be like Jesus."

okay the day go on..until at night i went to, you can say a bible school not theology school.

the pastor preach about "how to be like Jesus" and else but we are now focusing on the how to be like Jesus part. and not allowed to complain or whinning

From there, my will to be like Jesus is stronger and stronger, my compassion is back, then without me knowing when my first love is backkkkkkk...i now love to read bible and talk to God and praise..

like weeks, months ago i sort of lost my first love, and i kept on asking the love from God again to fulfill me..and yes i got it now. Thank You Jesus a lot.

well that's not it yet..

after the bible school me and hubby went home. @ home before sleep i read a bit of twitter and one tweet from @Rick Warren catch me, it says: I'm sorry is not enough, one should say : I was wrong, I'm sorry, Will you forgive me?

i read that and say to hubby for fun "I was wrong, i'm sorry, will you forgive me?".
When i done nothing, no mistakes it is sooo easy to say such things..then snobbish me says "ahh its easyyyy"
okay..so...it's sleep time

after pray and bible.

The next day..i went to pick up my lil brother. when drives back, it is traffic and i lost a bit control. so i bumped on to other cars. Thank God the old lady didnt charge me anything. well her car is fine. Thank GOD heapsss...

i didnt know that my car was a mess until i got home, taking shower and ready to go to work.
Hubby says..did u crash just now? i was shocked! huh? i thought its fine, my brother look at the car and he say was fine, so i worried nothing. but he was wrong, the car a mess..not big mess just little..

then he is angry and furious, me scared :( and upset. i am in a bad mood for the whole day, but keep praying Holy Spirit strengthen me, i know it was all my fault, but he shouldn't be like that.

but not allowed to complain so the whole day altho me in a bad mood i kept on give thanks and asked Holy spirit to strengthen me..and sing and cry :)

anyway hubby seems upset for the whole day and i don't know what to do.
we went home, hubby went for badminton and me crying coz he abandoned me.

so i just pray and give thanks and decide to text him saying : "i know you must be hate me to death right now..i just wanna say I was wrong, i'm sorry, will you forgive me?". i did say sorry before but i didn't say i was wrong and ask for your forgiveness, but now i ask for your forgiveness.

then i pray and read bible and sleep. so i have do what God wants me to do :D

(but if its me weeks ago, i wouldnt be able to do such things, i wud text him and say that why he has to be mad, why he has to be upset, it's just a minor things, money can fix and end up fighting)
(but now i choose to calm down and give in)
it's all because of JESUS..THE NAME OF JESUS..Praise the Lord Jesus..


SO HUBBY CAME BACK AROUND 11.30 PM. I FELL ASLEEP ALREADY.
KNOW WHAT HE DO?

HE GO DOWNSTAIRS TO COOK NOODLE WITHOUT EVEN HUG OR KISS ME OR CARE ABOUT ME.

THEN HE CAME BACK UPSTAIRS. AND KNOW WHAT HE DO TO ME!!!!

HE KISSEDDDD MEEEEEEE :D hahahahaha.. Jesuss thankkksss a lotttt...

then when he wants to sleep, he hugged me and say he can't abandoned me for too long, he can't not care about me, he loves me soo much eventho i bumped his car :D

HEH??? Me was like whattt?? Thankkk uuu Jesusssss..Thank uuuu Lord.

i listened to your word and do it and then u repay me with things that i don't expect :D WOWWW...
from the bottom of my heart i thought he would just go to sleep and tomorrow will be a bit nicer to me.

but look at what he did, he hugged me and say stuffs that i don't expect coming from him.
altho he lovessss me sooooo much i can see by his action but he don't really say things like
" i can't abandoned u for too long, i love u so much" i was like :-0 "

i love u Jesusssss..i loveee uuuuuuuuuuuu thank u..

and know what it's not as hard as i used to think. that say sorry and admit our fault is the hardest thing ever.

it's not i can tell u its not..asked for God strength and HE will give you that :)

me :
a stubborn
a snobbish
a hard to say sorry
a don't wanna lose
a prestige
a easy 2 upset
me

but God changed me...to be who i am now...

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Good day

I haven't write for quite a while...beenbusy with the shop.. Really thank God for that.. If not becauze of Him we won't be able to do this business..

Hmm like 10 days ago till yesterday.. I play mummy for 3 gorgeous children. Darren, axell and jeremy

They're my nephew in law :D my sis and bro in law went for a mission trip to rote for hmc..

Well anyhow.. It was fun playing this role hahaha.. Me likey me love it.. We discuss menu together sumtimes they like the cooking sumtimes not hahaha

But if i cooked their favourite they would clean it up wohoo..
They love western food and i'm hmm quite good in cooking 'em..

But for chinese and indonesian food i give up really.. Sumhow its just turn bad or not yummy 

So the menu are ;
Macaroni schotel
Sheperd's pie
Sushi
Sandwiches
Fried noodle
Butter rice
Batter fish
Terriyaki chicken
Soya chicken
Wonton noodle
Fish ball soup
Mantao (their all time fav)

Well all the menus are repeated sumtimes hehehe..

Will post the recipe some other time..

Last sunday may 22nd,11
We went to wedding party (staff that use to work next to jayatama pinangsia)
Me always love to wedding party.. Not to eat coz me and hubby never ate at wedding party except if we were so hungry which is rare.. Not that we're snob.. But i found it annoyed if i have to queue..

So we just went there, gave red envelope and my fav part is see those happy couple face.. I just love watching the smile on their face That u hardly found elsewhere.. Such a pure happiness...

Ok..move on to monday

Playing badminton with hubby n friends..

Today

We have a first praying trip hihi with sylvy, anne, rita, tante yuli n tante lily all female.. We did it like 1.5 hours and off to have lunch at kopitiam at ruko senayan

We order
Fried soyabean cake
Fried banana
Fried rice
Fried beehoon
Mie kangkong

And me and tante lily ordered ice longan, anne juice kedondong, syl sirsak juice, rita and tante yuli teh tarik..

Alllll sooo yummy and syl paid for everything :( doesnt feel good tho.. shoud've paid by ourselves..

Then we share lots and lots of things..

When off to anne's and go to strawberry pastelufo o myyyy everythinggg is soooo yummmmmmmm

And again anne's brought for us :(
Well altho we all doesnt feel gpod but we have to give thank to Jesus for that its called berkat :D

Thank U Jesus Lord

We bought pastel ufo and sandwich bapao and choux
And again alll yummmm except the choux is a bit dry and vla is a bit too thick but its yumm and the tante is nice too
Wanna share the tips and trick
That the oven should be hot before u put in the choux and while bake it shud be at the maximum temp.
And while fried the risoles it shud be hot at the minimum temp. :d thanks tante lan

Off to the shop and do some work and back home
Me so tired.

Time to sleep

Pray nbible first then bobo (sleep): D

Thursday, May 5, 2011

i'm sorry....and Thank You...:D and Curcol hahaha

o my..shame on me..this last few blogs was all about how upset i was, how sad, how anger, how dissapointed..

o my..o my...me so shame on it :( how pathetic i was this couple few days/ last few weeks..

i do apologize if anyone ever read this blog..it is so inappropriate that i convert all my anger to my writing :(

sorry sorry sorry and sorry...

hmmm...i decided to make a better me :D esp. when i read blog i wrote around 2006 - 2008 :D hihihi..

okay...

yesterday continuing on the RIP Feeling...it is so funny that the feeling hasn't completely died..
Thanks to Holy Spirit kept telling me to forgive and forget..

as of me before i knew HIM...this is a dead end..i won't forgive people that fast, esp. when i get hurt.
but..the difference with me now is..i don't know..i just have a BIG HEART that easily to forgive and forget..
WOW..this is credit to God alone not me not him not anyone  but God alone..

i Thank You Lord to make me a better me..but it is not enough, i still need to improve and step to the next level of better me :)

so we hugged and say sorry to each other...and start a new page and forget what has happened...

and promise not to repeat the mistakes and me too promise that won't easily upset or sensitive...

last night he went to pola bugar for badminton with cabo..i supposed to go to mummy and daddy's home but my whole body so sore and i feel like cracking up..

ooppsiiee hope it isn't the sign of getting old hahahahaha...nay nay nay...

nah..its prolly coz i haven't had enough rest and relax..it's always rush rush rush...esp. since saturday where we (me and mummy in law) have to prepare food for sunday celebration :)

ah..forget to blog about the celebration...

anyhow...mum in law asked me to her room and asked me about how i felt about the business and how i felt about hubby that is not discipline..coz she is worried a lot about him / us..:(
sorry mum..doesn't mean to worry you though..

well i just speak up my mind..i have no worry coz in the bible on 
Psalms 37 : 5 (Mazmur 37 : 5) says:
"Roll your way on the LORD; Trust also in HIM, and He will work."
"Serahkanlah hidupmu kepada Tuhan dan percayalah kepadaNya, dan Ia akan bertindak."

well if i can break it down, it is like this;
1. Roll your way on the Lord (Serahkanlah hidupmu kepada Tuhan)
means : your way = life = hidupmu (all your life, urself, ur worries, ur work, ur business, ur job, ur families, ur want - like literally everything..every single thing in ur life that u worry) on the Lord = kepadaNya (give it to Him, all of those u worry of)

2. Trust also in Him
means : Trust in Him = percayalah kepadaNya (like when u trust ur partner, or husband or wife or mum or dad or children..even if you can't trust any of them, you still can trust HIM the Lord, our creator (He won't harm you but He will teach you to be a better person) - or simply just think what is TRUST.

3. then He will work
means of He will work = Ia akan bertindak (if you trust Him, you give all ur worry to Him, He then will and can work..if you didn't trust Him. how can HE work right? )

For example : an Illustration.
You go to a restaurant to have dinner, lets say a sushi bar.
How can you go there and eat there if you don't trust them. How do you know if they poisoned you, you don't right? why do you wanna go there? coz u trust them, you trust them that they won't poisoned you as their customer :) and you know they serve fresh.
coz if they serve salmon, it must be serve fresh otherwise u will get a full of germ salmon.

okay anyhow..hope whoever read it understand or if no on read it, this is just a reminder for me hehehe...
anyway..i told my mum in law (i don't get used to say mum in law..feels weird) so im just gonna write mum :D
SO i tell mum not to worry coz we aren't supposed to worry..and i myself..no im not worry..i just pray and i know He will work :)

i mean for her age, she shouldn't be worry :( poor her..have to worry about us kids...so sorry mum..

love her like my mum already coz she is too always love me like her own kiddo..like cc cc and hubby..
seriously people..i really thank God for giving me a mum like her..

i mean..it is damn hard to find such a mum in law. all i heard whether it is from my friend or anyone i met. Never did i heard they have such a great mum in law that doesn't treat them like they are the daughter in law.
all i ever heard was how standard and sumtimes bad their mum in law are..

oh..FYI, now i live with mum and dad and sis and famz of my hubby...
and the reaction i got is o my God you live with ur mum in law and sister in law? or
in a better version you live with ur mum and sister in law?

i was like..yeah...why is that a problem and why such a fuss?
and they started to say things what happen if you stay with ur hubby parents and in law..and bla bla bla..

i just laughed at 'em and say..God is good..He gave me such a great family..we never had argument or like fight over things. They are understanding..and they are great..
but me..i'm the one who have to be ashame of myself..coz i sumtimes wake up late and go home late that i rarely helped them in the kitchen..and never did they say a thing or act weird to me...in fact they cooked for us..whoaaa..i really feel shame...

which from now on i should wake up early hehehee..and helped :D Coz the maid can't cook yet and work like a turtle hihihihi...

well...they then woww..u r lucky..yes i am..and mummy friend also often asked her about where do i live with whom..and they also start to yappy yappy..and mummy like cut them and say..oh no..eva have such a great in law, this and those and they were like shut up and only say oh..she's so lucky..mummy like " yeah.. of course she is"
and it's alllllllllllllllllllllllll credited to my one and only God : Jesus Christ :)

Love You Jesus

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

RIP Feeling....

Today , May 04, 2011

hey there feeling..how r u lately...
F : i'm torn apart, i feel numb and i don't think i can survive...

it has gone far away..it's gone without i even realise it...i feel blank and numb...

There's nothing else that i could hold onto...feeling has gone...feeling has died one more time

it rose just to be squeeze to dead...

what to do now....feeling has gone...i felt nothing but hurt,  no more happiness, no more smile, no more things that can make u laugh...everything has become so miserable...tears and sadness

felt betrayed...have u ever feel the same way as i do..yeah that's the word...feel betrayed (not as in affair..no)
it's something else...

i think....it's time for me to decide...to decide what to do next without feeling in me...

who can wake feeling up? i miss feeling...but she doesnt wanna wake up...

The puzzle has once again fall apart...incomplete...who could fix it...
The vase has once again broken...fell into pieces...who could fix it...
The smile has once again dissapear...into darkness...who could fix it...
The feeling has once again die...within me...who could fix it...

God...yes this world is full of hurtful things...it's true...who could fix it..no one but You...

if i gave u my puzzle, my vase, my smile and my feeling...will u take a good care of it?
coz i don't wanna live with any of it anymore..it's too hurtful...

Let them be with you..don't bother to give it back to me...

God...i had enough...just let them rest peacefully...coz i wanna live just for you...with your new love in me...

i am exhausted Lord...i am tired...i wanna have a long long sleep Lord...

a very long sleep......................................................................................................................................

My up and down side

i..just don't know what to say or do or blog..

i don't even know what to do right now...This couple days to be exact since last april until now earlier of may..
i have been in a really up and down life...

we've been fight a lot, argue a lot and disagree to same things (finally) but we have to carry on becoz it has happened....

i've been whinning a lot as well..maybe the period cycle...i've been grumpy and dissapointed and sad and everything mixed into one..

how sad..if i could wrote here..i would but..i can't..it says Love should conquer everything...

all i can tell you here is how sad i am...and how miserable my feelings are..

i couldn't feel a thing but torn apart..no no no..it's not the affair things if you thought that way..it has nothing to do with it at all.. it's other things


well apart from Jesus here with me in spirit...i mean as human i feel...i feel numb...i feel blank...i feel alone :)

today especially..i feel..i don't know...i feel exhausted..and i wanna quit from this things..i wanna have my own freedom..i wanna go...i wanna leave...i don't wanna stay here anymore.

i had enough..i prolly going back to aussie for 3 months first...then decide what to do later...maybe...

i really wish i can say everything here, complain, whinning and all..i wish..i really wish...

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

i am angry

last nite me and hubby had dinner at bebek goreng with cabo, io, fery

we drop off at macik pastel goreng, to taste the pastel.

The taste itself was ok. not that yummy yummy, bit dried. but okay hahahaha

okey. im lazy to blog today

i hate what i am doing now

i mean..hello..we do have chances to reset our lives like earlier this year. but why? why? why we have to repeat the things that we don't like just to play safe!!! i'm sickkkkk of it..

why do u have to be scaredddd of trying something else! out of this things that you don't even like.

i have yes i have tell you before right re think! by having this you stuck to this!!! arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

i'm devastated by thinking of this! see u are so damn attached to here! can't try nothing and u! yes u! asked me to stuck in here and u can go out! argh! dammit!! i hate i hate i hateeeeeeeeee heree!!!

this is my biggest regret! why i didnt stopped u by being such a fool! you just wanna play safe!!

and i have to stuck here! 

Monday, April 25, 2011

me get annoyed

I getttt annoyedd!!! like really annoyed!!! Jesuss helpppp me :( i can't calm myself down :( please calm me down Lord..

I dun wanna waste this evening by being angry or mad..arghhhhhhh....why does those people have to show those kind of rubbish! hellooo peopleee grow up will yaaaa!!!! dammit!

My heart feels like bursting out! i am sooo angry to that person!

ruined my eveninggg!!!

i had a good day, i had a great day..i looked at my friendster page, great memoirs then i chat with my lost lost friend..


all i wanna say : just keep it to urself mate those kind of website! don't have to show it for me or my hubby ight!

The Dedication Night for Parents

Story Telling
hahahaha...

okay so we have rehearse on Friday after "Good Friday service" @ GBI HOB

First i would really like to say Thank You to my Jesus..our saviour.. He had died on the cross just to redeem our our sin to gives us life..

The rehearsal went okay, no coordination but yeah alrite..bit hectic and outta control so stretching out the time...
me : usher for accompany the granny and grandpa
hubby : usher for consumption.

hubby finished meeting and coordinate with the consumption team while me still rehearse..
happy he is waiting for me to finished up all...

hmm...saturday the D-Day :)

deg2an :D a short briefing then pray then helped out the consumption before i start the task...
my task is to accompany the oldies because their children can't come that nite.

i accompany one of the singer parents, coz one of their daughter had to go to outside of the city and other one had to sing at that nite..

i looked at them, they are so proud of their daughter :) singing there....

and surprisingly

okay will continue later coz i suddenly have no mood on blogging this topics right now...i'll continue this tomorrow...

Steps in U Lord Jesus

Steps in U

July 5th, 2008 by luveva
Weed to Rose
Dirt to Gold
That’s what U turned me into…
I cannot thank U enough for fulfilling my life…
I walked in my new destiny with YOU, my Saviour…
By Your Grace and Truth i survived and lived…
Now that i know You will never leave me,i can face the world fearless my Lord…
Thank You for every steps in my life…                      
                                                                                                           (c) VAVA
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Archive 2007 - 2008

Time Flies

April 27th, 2009 by luveva
Time…do flies hey…
Second by second
minutes by minutes
hours by hours
day by day
months by months
years by years…
gone without u even realise it…
i look at my blog, which i wrote months ago, some years ago…
and now when i sit and look back, i realised that so many thing has changed…
and of course many changed to a better form, as far as i know…
well i think… the best in life is to be urself and do ur best in life…
————————————————————–
*gee..i haven’t write anything since i worked at this new place…kinda miss friendster tho..before facebook come up..i used to spend my lonely nights with friendster…but now that i have me boo…im not alone anymore…
– sitting by myself with my mini HP, thinking what should i do next to be a better me –
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Work related

July 5th, 2008 by luveva
Its been going on for a while now…if am not mistaken this is ma third week working at this company..yihaaaa..i finally allowed to work hahaha…hepi hepi hepi..
meet couples new friends..which is good..they are all nice..it was like working with a big family :)
umm…couple first few days, got so blanked..really blanked what the hell am i suppose to do ahhaha..but then i can say im easily to adapt with new environment..and quite fast to pick up  or learned things..but i got weaknesses tho..am a careless one hahaha…:p well imagined then, u gotta deal with lots and lots and lots of shipping document plus learned other things haha..
overall im enjoying working tho..Thanks Jesus…
Thanks others as a helper :p
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aaarrrggghhh….

July 11th, 2007 by luveva
aaaarrrrgggghhh….wat a life…
i just begun to have a nice life, but then suddenly the wind from the past came…arrgghhh…it’s just small little thing and he found out coincidentally…
i forgot to delete just one single message that i kept in the draft, that i forgot to send years ago..which i shud’ve delete it…
huuu….stupiddd meeeeeeeee….
i feel sorry to my boo….:( i’m sorry…i didn’t mean it baby…
i love u baby….i love only you in my heart & my life…

Archive April 2007

Miss u guys

Wednesday, April 18th, 2007

Edit1_1  
me…kinda sad tho…well no…actually i am sooo sad rite now…
one by one my colleagues are leaving da company for good…(me 2 soon) hehe…
i feel so lost without them…I’m so lonely here in my office..it’s so cold not warm anymore..no more laughter, teasing and joking around..
No more Mummy - ceriwisssssnya minta ampun, ngingetin this n that, my lunch mate and suka munchies hihi…she has been a gud sista to me :)
No more Botax - yang isenggg bangett n sumtimes can be pendiem
No more Babe - yang ngayomin or nenangin
No more Tante uci - yang suka ngobrol
No more Gokana - yang loecoe, bit lelet (hihi..kidding) and ate bihunn all da time
me sitting here thinking of when and where will i ever experience having such a good friends like them…
Not that we fought or hated each other tho..but because we are all have moved to other better place :)
i miss u all guys….
We have quite a cute nickname tho:
We are RF, MC, JW, LC, NN, and EJ (me)
Hiksssss……..
Plus i will miss all the staffs later when i’m out of this building…
The hardest part is to leave a place where i spent my last 10 months :) happy and  sad time..
Yet we still have da BIG boss DA, the most funny guy ANM, the most loyal one IR, and the most calming and patient person i’ve ever met RoS…
Good Luck everyone…Love u all
Edit1_3
    
 
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2 Responses to “Miss u guys”

  1. Juwita Says:
    Thanx Va…
    I’ve got exactly the same feeling as yours….
    Sad but life must go on…
    I miss all of u guys (RF, LC, MC, NN, u & me = best team) and won’t forget all sweet memories we had…
  2. Ajo Says:
    sory pake bhs indonesia..
    va lu ko ga pamitan ma gw sih waktu hari terahir..
    walau br kenal jg kan sapa tau dapet cipika cipiki…hehehe..^-^
    sukses ya va..

Archive March -2007

hoamm…. 

Wednesday, March 21st, 2007

hoammm…finally…i have time to write ma blog…
i just wake up from ma laziness hehe…well from everything basically…
Coz in the month of February we have been thru lots of things good and bad…true??
2 - 9 feb - flooding (i’m one of the victim..huxx hukzzz..)
14 feb - valentine day (wonderful day :))
18 feb - chinese new year + office holiday
21 feb onwards - have to catch up and covering all the task that hasn’t been done yet…

anyhow…after all that planning, target, etc and etc…i only have my spare time now…
so wat i wanna share:
i was in church yesterday with ma partner…as usual

it’s quite interesting tho…it says about problem…
" if…if we see something as a problem then it will be a PROBLEM" but…
"if we see things as a CHALLENGE, then it will not be a PROBLEM but CHALLENGE"
I said to myself..ya it’s true..
why? coz when problems comes, we’ll do nothing but complaining, whinning, and stress for it… that makes us grumpy, moody, easily to get angry and bla bla bla…
but if we take it as a challenge we’ll for sure do something about it and find way to solve the problem…

really…itu membuka mata saya…bahwa Tuhan gak akan mencobai kita melebihi batas kita…
what can we do is to do the best…for everything…
for our life, our job, our relationship between humans (u and ur parents, siblings, partner, friends, colleagues, boss, etc)

soo…wat are u waiting for?
cheers :)
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2 Responses to “hoamm….”

  1. mili Says:
    partner ? or ur bf ?
    im surprised dat u goin to church now ^-^
  2. -Eva- Says:
    my friend, my partner, my boyfriend hehe…
    love u milll….:)

Archive for December, 2006

Just do the best

Friday, December 15th, 2006
Yah..maybe post2 yang lalu gw tuh selalu complainnnnnnnn mulu ga berenti..mpe orang2 disekitar gw juga dah cape, bosen and bt ngedengerin gw X yah…
Maybe cuman orang yang senasib ama gw yang bisa saling complain juga yach…serperti lagi tuh..tmn gw Uthe balik dari Oz..so g decided to ketemuan ama die and Indri…di Citos…
Disana kebetulan my boo juga ada urusan…so there we go..three of us gossiping about wat had happened in our life and in one point kita ngomongin about life over here…
Actually, It’s not that bad tho living in Indo, bisa dibilang quite good..then what the hell am I doing here, whinning and complaining…ya ga betahnya kita (g n indri) coz ga ngerasa comfort kali ya…beda banget, temenan juga beda..kita berdua saling complain and ngeluarin semuanya ke Uthe yang cuman bisa dengerin (kacian d hehe..maap nah ti) and afta dat g ngerasa Plong!! buangetttt krn nemuin tmn yang senasib..yg kebetulan kita juga tmn maen disana…
But overall….coz of my boo jg yang ga bosen2nya ngasih tau gw and nasehatin gw, ade gw, tmn2 gw…yang always gimme courage and support kalo gw tuh cuman bisa Do the best for my life in wateva i do and percaya ama Dia.
G juga sadar seh selama ini gw tuh ngerasa jauhhhh banget ama Dia…but i decided to nerima Dia lagi (dulu pernah downnnnnn banget and make me far from Him) and do the best….
Yah…sekarang gw udah bisa nerima and jalanin dengan sebaik2nya…ada baenya juga seh…g jadi ga sering bt, brantem..tappi tersenyummm dengan hati yang PLONG!!!
Fiuhh…akhirnya….i can smile again :)
*Grinning….
Me2

One Response to “Just do the best”

  1. Hadi Says:
    :-)
    I hve seen many people change.. i’ve seen them see their values.. i’ve made some of them realize their values of life sometimes… but yet.. they would go back to their low state of mind…
    you probably have experienced this many2 times… exciting bout somethings, believing that things will be better off… then you are soo passionate of it.. write it out proud.. then few weeks/months later.. again you feel down..
    I CHALLENGE YOU TO KEEP THIS STATE NOW… I CHALLENGE YOU TO NOT BECOMING PEOPLE WHO TALKS SHIT AND KEEP ON DOING THE SAME ALL OVER AGAIN…
    CONGRATULATIONS….

Blank….

Friday, December 15th, 2006
well…after all this time….i realised what is this all about..all these fight we had.it’s all because he cared too much..he get scared dat i’m gonna get sick, coz i ate less, sleep less, hit the gym almost everyday without any nutrition goin in the system…
why? why i’m doing it…it’s just because i wanna reach ma ‘goal’, by end of dis year…but end up arguing with ma boo…
now..i understand baby…we dun have to fight no more…i’ll do it in a healthy way…for you…
Luv u bub…Thank u for ur love & caring..
Hugs&kisses…ur wifey
Smallimages_1

Archive Nov 2006

Archive for November, 2006

Cape, Jenuh, Bosennnnnn

Monday, November 27th, 2006
gw…jenuhh..capekk..bosennn ama iduppppp gwwwwwww…
kapan sihhhh berakhirnya…g jenuhhh bgt,g pengen tereakkk tapi gak bisa..gw juga kadang ga tau mo ngapaennn..g pengennn banget balik lage ke sana…kayaknya koq g tinggal disini banyak banget masalah yang dateng..selalu ajaaa ada…brantem la ma dia, gara2 pulang malem, padahal juga cuman kali2nya..gara2 ini itu..arrrggghhhh…cape dhe…
blon lage g selalu ngerepotin orang…apa2 ga bisa..
auk dah…g juga lage cape, abis ngurusin seminar yang umm..ok la..mayan berhasil..
belon lage bln january ini student juga cuman segini2 doang…blon lagi mencapai target…
napa yach..g belakangan juga tiap ari pastiiiii adaaaaaa ajaaaaa brantemnya…stress dech gw…ihhhh…..cape cape cape…

God..lemme out of dis misery…

7 Responses to “Cape, Jenuh, Bosennnnnn”

  1. Hadi Says:
    Congratulations…. I thought you have learned about ONCE YOU DECIDED???? instead of keep on complaining your life, why dont you go back and think… what should i do better, what should i change to avoid these things occur in the future?
    :-) God has been too busy thinking of how to make people realize there is one GOD, how can he see and solve your problem… Good luck though..
  2. Richard Says:
    Don’t worry.. there is always process.. lagian gw juga lagi down nih.. emang jakarta lagi musim ujan.. the morale is low..
    bukan lo aja.. tapi banyak orang lain..
    proposed suggestion: group outing.. LOL!
  3. mey Says:
    *hug
  4. BhUOnE Says:
    Life is easy, if yours is isnt.. quit whining.. Mhuahahahaha.. *j/k*
  5. Marina Says:
    God will let u out only when you let Him….tekker Eva….
  6. Adrian Says:
    hidup memang didesain untuk tidak mudah, sister..
  7. -Eva- Says:
    Guysssss…Thanks for ur input tho…wateva is dat..ya i think i will do the best for my life…
    Once again Thank u…mwahhhh


    Brand new puzzle

    Wednesday, November 8th, 2006 In the past, a girl gave her heart to one and he tore it up…
    Now…
    a guy she know, did everything to brighten up her world
    and tried hard to put the broken pieces back to a whole new one
    she knew she is like a puzzle to him
    she knew him not long ago but one thing for sure
    she know she can trust him..and she dun wanna lose nor hurt him..
    she is doing her best to be with him….
    and now she’s on her step to his heart…
    he knew and he understand dat the puzzle is soon to be completed by him…
    then he will be the love of her life 4 eva
    she thanks him for his understanding for his patient
    and for everything he did to make her happy, really…
    she’s the luckiest person on earth…
    sooo lucky dat she can’t even believe it herself…
    she cant even imagine of one day there will be sumone who came and put the pieces back together, fix it and paint back, the puzzle that is half burn
    she knew dat he gonna make a brand new puzzle….
    and HE DID….
    She now moves on and lived in her brand new world with him…
    Together side by side and equally…..

a bit of me in the past - Dec 2005 - Sept 2006

Once u decided….

September 20th, 2006 by luveva
Do not look back…
i’m sooooo in love and attached with this phrase "once u decided, do not look back…"
dunno why..ever since i heard this phrase…sumhow it makes me strong and comforts me a lot…
*sigh….what a life…mereka berdatangan bergantian silih berganti…
si A si B si C si D…sampai si Z…
i’m sick and tired with all of dis, when will it ova???
sumtimes…late at night when all the nightingale has comes out…i like to sit and laid back by myself..thinking…
which direction shud i choose,where should i go…wat shud i do…
sumhow i come up with the thought…wat did i do wrong, dat makes me go through dis kinda life…
well well…i juz hope and wish dat one day….
ya….one day…. sum1 will set me free from this uncertainty…

Vava

 

3 Responses to “Once u decided….”

  1. Richard Says:
    wahhh.. its sounds like a very heavy burden that you try to carry.
    you are welcome to share it with to staffs@inti.bla.bla
    hehehe
    “dont look back ..” its easier said then done..
    lemme assure you.. especially when you think there was something that could be done better..
    anyway.. good luck =))))
  2. William Says:
    In the past I don’t, but now I completely agree with the phrase ” once u decided, do not look back”.It makes us to always look forward and continue our lifes.Not keep clinging to our past.
    I think There is no right or wrong as long as we have faith in every decision that we made.As for me, ” don’t look back ” is easier to said than done.There are many times, that I still regret of the decision that I made, but now I learn and know that everytime I made a decision, I have burn the bridge behind me.There is no way turning back.
    Now, u will think that u’re very tired of the uncertainty,but in the future u will find out that uncertainty that has made u stronger and more mature.
    I hope that soon u will be free from this uncertainty.And u’ll even forget that u’ve ever come across this feeling.
    just don’t lose faith…
    And I know that the wish that u’ve been waiting for will come true soon…
  3. Hadi Says:
    Hmmm, interesting but yet, weird… everyone is trying to convince that you are having a burden that is ssoooooo heavy and you need to decide and dont look back at that “problem” or “burden”. seriously, be realistic… can it really be done? our mind is created to think.. manipulate, and disturbing us, unless you are fully control of your mind, your body, then you can choose what do you want to think… the problem is… do you know who you are? you thought you had the past, some people think that they are the past, some people thought they could forget the past, but what you do today, is driven by the past.
    So… the past=present
    but you down own the past… you own the present… NOW
    you are fully control of NOW… your mind will try to lead you to the past… but you are in control, not your mind.. but can you control your mind?
    who are you? EVA… that’s your name… who are you? a girl.. that’s your gender.. who are you… a consultant.. that’s your job, who are you.. really who are you?
    That will probably lead you to understand the past=present. hopefully….

  life ohh.. life

June 14th, 2006 by luveva
Today is ma fifth day working in dis company
Quite fun, altho i haven’t know much about it…
i enjoyed working here, well i have nothing to complain ‘ight…
i’m just looking for an experience..
i love the environment tho..people are nice (so far so gud)

Now bout wat had happened  since i came back
mannn..i dun wanna talk about it…but..let’s share
i changed alot since i came back…well dat’s a gud sign isn’t it?
it’s just not me…but i have to adapt wit this situation,hei…

ummm…i haven’t totally changed yet
There are sumthing that i dun wanna give up ,at least not yet…
i still enjoying ‘puffing’ haha…coz dat the only thing i can do to relaxing ma mind…

it’s a boring life i had but wat to do..i have to live with it…
i get used to having ma freedom…now i have to give it up..
aaarrrrrrrgggggggghhhh… lately ma life has been so f*&^ed up…
but i just learn how to deal with it…and accept it…

another day in paradise

January 19th, 2006 by luveva
life dat i have…friends dat i have…family dat i have…
everything seems so perfect…but…
is this 4 real? or is this just my imagination?
i dunno..i can’t really tell..
if this is a dream then dun wake me up…
i’m hurt knowing dat i have to leave this life here…
on the other hand…
i’m glad dat finally i can go back to where i belong..
Sumthing 4 sure…i’ll neva eva forget about what i had here…
Thanks guy…mwahhhhhh

Comment :
mili Says:

Nek betul bgt kata lu tapi belon lengkap neg tanpa g…
Tunggu g balik n then go party harder K ? TUNGGU G BALIK LO

its a new year

January 5th, 2006 by luveva
Resize_of_imgp1651 its a new year…
againnn…another year has passed..so fast..feels like yesterday..and againn i couldnt sleep..i dunno wat to do..i just have ma cig just now..chat wit friend..but again i kept thinking…
thinking of dis of dat..which i shouldnt..its a new year..time to re new ma life..refresh it.
i try to have fun..find some other things to do..to keep me busy..but still the root is der..i keep going back to da same spot..
hah….*sigh…im just trying to sleep now..hopefully i can sleep…nite nite…mwahhh

sorry…

December 29th, 2005 by luveva
i guess for the past month i’ve been having too much fun..where i forget who i am..and where i am..
ive been hurting so many people..and i apologize for dat for which i shouldnt have done it..maybe im just having too much fun to realise dat i hurt them…i havent figure it out who i am and what i’m aim for…
but to da extend im really thriiled and happy hanging around wit ma friends again..ma new friends and ma old fella…im happy to be back again..back to da track where i used to be…
am i doing da rite thing? back again wit ma friend and coz hurts for others…i just wanna be normal again and i hope dis new year everything can be normal again b4 i go..
coz i’m leaving soon..outta dis country..
da country dat taught me so much in life..where i spent ma teenage years here…da country dat i loved yet i hated [well its cause me so much trouble] but overall i’m happy..i’m happy dat i lived here and spent ma years here dat i get to meet so many great friends…
Thanks to ma friends dat supports me through out da year..be there for me gimme da courage…and…strength…
Sorry for those whomever get hurt because of me…
all i can say..lice ur life fully [ma friend told me dis] and meaningful..
i just try to be a beta person..coz i know im not perfect and no one is perfect…

Its just another year

December 29th, 2005 by luveva 2006 is coming soon..it’s time to reviewed all my acitivities..what have i done..did i do the rite thing or did i hurt sumbody..u tell me..for me what has been done..its done..another year coming by..and gonna stay there for 12 months..i guess i’ve been doing da wrong thing for da past year..which i shall not do..but its already a past..am not gonna regret it but i take it as a lessons for me..
i’ve hurt so many people..i’ve hurt maself..wat have i done wrong?
2005  been a stressful, sad, happy and a tough year for me though i should live wit it…my life is so fucked up…but its just another phase of life…
this year i promised ma self, i promised ma friends not to get hurt again…they’ve helped me get thru this which i should thanks them very much…months by months passed by but i still cant figure out who i am..
2006 i promised ma self to grow up and not to do da same mistake dat i do…
Overall, its just another year…dat i have to lived in it..like it or not..
Yeah..its just another year….

Saturday, April 23, 2011

My Lord Jesus

Jesus Christ

Name above all name
King of all kings

Who on earth never heard of His name...
Even seas roar 
Mountain shaken 
and sky trembled

Humans...who are we Lord
That You choose to give off Your throne for us
That You suffer on earth for us
even Die on the cross for us

Who are we Lord in Your eyes
That you loved us so much to undertake the punishment for us

Jesus...
You are too precious 
You free us from sin
You gave us eternal life
You gave us Your riches
You gave us freedom 

Jesus...
How can we give thank Lord
How can we give thank...

I love You Jesus....Thank You for your salvation for us...
Your love is infinite...

Thursday, April 21, 2011

in the mood of blogging

hohoho..contradictory to the page memalas...
i actually in the mood of blogging today..

today i cooked myself pan fried corn (no oil) and grilled fish with egg hahaha..me loves egg so much..
as for breakfast i choose soup to start with...

For hubby :
brekky : cc cooked butter rice, so i took some hehehe and made him a sandwich..shud be filling for him
lunch : i cooked him grill fish and egg plus mum in law cooked something green with mince beef..its yummo but its salty so i cannot eat that :(

Today me replied lala's email, we talked about stuffs..esp. hot topic hahaha boys :p and she replied back
and i shud thank God for giving me such x cousin in law hehee, such family, such hubby and such in laws
They're allll nice all good..thank God for giving me such a great life plus extra spices :D

CC come visit today..for the very first time hehehe..i suggest her to buy i4 :D She stay here for quite a while. we browse for tickets and hotel.

we plan to go overseas by the end of the year or mid year whenever there's cheap ticket..
i longeeedddd for holidayyyy..haven't go for holiday for a while.. soundssss great tho holiday :D YIHAA...

The questions is when? huksss..me kinda regret why we have to open shop still :( coz otherwise we can go to rote or travelling elsewhere :( Who doesnt like travelling..huks

well anyway there's nothing to be regret..

for dinnerrr : me eat grapes + kiwi and yoghurt + 1 boiled egg

Tonite me and hubby plan to go to Puri for a walk and for buying me white shirt for saturday "Dedication Night for Old Paps and Nanna's" "Precious in the eye of God"

me have none proper white shirt to wear :D oh and by the wayyyy..im sooo happy today God :) i get to be usher..my job is to accompany the oldies and feed them and say sorry to them :D

Me likey so much, i dunno but it's like my heart fell for the oldies esp. the one that is abandoned by their kids *heartbreaking :(

so God i thank You so much for planned this...well i know i'm gonna cry hard coz me such a baby..my heart are sooo weak..too sensitive i wud say..but who caressss let it be..if i have to cry then let it be hehehehe..

yayyyy..me gonna pray for that event..and tomorrow we gonna go to church because our Jesus Christ has died on the cross for us..and then when He arise that is when we all are free from sins. the one who believe in Him - Jesus Christ :)

Love u Lord J.C.

ps: couldn't finish up my yoghurt :( toooo fulllllll :(
and lala said me kinda lose weight yayyyy...
me mum also said that me kinda lose weight yayyyy!!!!

Continueeee to diet ah no i mean..healthy eating habit :D