My up and down side

i..just don't know what to say or do or blog..

i don't even know what to do right now...This couple days to be exact since last april until now earlier of may..
i have been in a really up and down life...

we've been fight a lot, argue a lot and disagree to same things (finally) but we have to carry on becoz it has happened....

i've been whinning a lot as well..maybe the period cycle...i've been grumpy and dissapointed and sad and everything mixed into one..

how sad..if i could wrote here..i would but..i can't..it says Love should conquer everything...

all i can tell you here is how sad i am...and how miserable my feelings are..

i couldn't feel a thing but torn apart..no no no..it's not the affair things if you thought that way..it has nothing to do with it at all.. it's other things


well apart from Jesus here with me in spirit...i mean as human i feel...i feel numb...i feel blank...i feel alone :)

today especially..i feel..i don't know...i feel exhausted..and i wanna quit from this things..i wanna have my own freedom..i wanna go...i wanna leave...i don't wanna stay here anymore.

i had enough..i prolly going back to aussie for 3 months first...then decide what to do later...maybe...

i really wish i can say everything here, complain, whinning and all..i wish..i really wish...