Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Good day

I haven't write for quite a while...beenbusy with the shop.. Really thank God for that.. If not becauze of Him we won't be able to do this business..

Hmm like 10 days ago till yesterday.. I play mummy for 3 gorgeous children. Darren, axell and jeremy

They're my nephew in law :D my sis and bro in law went for a mission trip to rote for hmc..

Well anyhow.. It was fun playing this role hahaha.. Me likey me love it.. We discuss menu together sumtimes they like the cooking sumtimes not hahaha

But if i cooked their favourite they would clean it up wohoo..
They love western food and i'm hmm quite good in cooking 'em..

But for chinese and indonesian food i give up really.. Sumhow its just turn bad or not yummy 

So the menu are ;
Macaroni schotel
Sheperd's pie
Sushi
Sandwiches
Fried noodle
Butter rice
Batter fish
Terriyaki chicken
Soya chicken
Wonton noodle
Fish ball soup
Mantao (their all time fav)

Well all the menus are repeated sumtimes hehehe..

Will post the recipe some other time..

Last sunday may 22nd,11
We went to wedding party (staff that use to work next to jayatama pinangsia)
Me always love to wedding party.. Not to eat coz me and hubby never ate at wedding party except if we were so hungry which is rare.. Not that we're snob.. But i found it annoyed if i have to queue..

So we just went there, gave red envelope and my fav part is see those happy couple face.. I just love watching the smile on their face That u hardly found elsewhere.. Such a pure happiness...

Ok..move on to monday

Playing badminton with hubby n friends..

Today

We have a first praying trip hihi with sylvy, anne, rita, tante yuli n tante lily all female.. We did it like 1.5 hours and off to have lunch at kopitiam at ruko senayan

We order
Fried soyabean cake
Fried banana
Fried rice
Fried beehoon
Mie kangkong

And me and tante lily ordered ice longan, anne juice kedondong, syl sirsak juice, rita and tante yuli teh tarik..

Alllll sooo yummy and syl paid for everything :( doesnt feel good tho.. shoud've paid by ourselves..

Then we share lots and lots of things..

When off to anne's and go to strawberry pastelufo o myyyy everythinggg is soooo yummmmmmmm

And again anne's brought for us :(
Well altho we all doesnt feel gpod but we have to give thank to Jesus for that its called berkat :D

Thank U Jesus Lord

We bought pastel ufo and sandwich bapao and choux
And again alll yummmm except the choux is a bit dry and vla is a bit too thick but its yumm and the tante is nice too
Wanna share the tips and trick
That the oven should be hot before u put in the choux and while bake it shud be at the maximum temp.
And while fried the risoles it shud be hot at the minimum temp. :d thanks tante lan

Off to the shop and do some work and back home
Me so tired.

Time to sleep

Pray nbible first then bobo (sleep): D

Thursday, May 5, 2011

i'm sorry....and Thank You...:D and Curcol hahaha

o my..shame on me..this last few blogs was all about how upset i was, how sad, how anger, how dissapointed..

o my..o my...me so shame on it :( how pathetic i was this couple few days/ last few weeks..

i do apologize if anyone ever read this blog..it is so inappropriate that i convert all my anger to my writing :(

sorry sorry sorry and sorry...

hmmm...i decided to make a better me :D esp. when i read blog i wrote around 2006 - 2008 :D hihihi..

okay...

yesterday continuing on the RIP Feeling...it is so funny that the feeling hasn't completely died..
Thanks to Holy Spirit kept telling me to forgive and forget..

as of me before i knew HIM...this is a dead end..i won't forgive people that fast, esp. when i get hurt.
but..the difference with me now is..i don't know..i just have a BIG HEART that easily to forgive and forget..
WOW..this is credit to God alone not me not him not anyone  but God alone..

i Thank You Lord to make me a better me..but it is not enough, i still need to improve and step to the next level of better me :)

so we hugged and say sorry to each other...and start a new page and forget what has happened...

and promise not to repeat the mistakes and me too promise that won't easily upset or sensitive...

last night he went to pola bugar for badminton with cabo..i supposed to go to mummy and daddy's home but my whole body so sore and i feel like cracking up..

ooppsiiee hope it isn't the sign of getting old hahahahaha...nay nay nay...

nah..its prolly coz i haven't had enough rest and relax..it's always rush rush rush...esp. since saturday where we (me and mummy in law) have to prepare food for sunday celebration :)

ah..forget to blog about the celebration...

anyhow...mum in law asked me to her room and asked me about how i felt about the business and how i felt about hubby that is not discipline..coz she is worried a lot about him / us..:(
sorry mum..doesn't mean to worry you though..

well i just speak up my mind..i have no worry coz in the bible on 
Psalms 37 : 5 (Mazmur 37 : 5) says:
"Roll your way on the LORD; Trust also in HIM, and He will work."
"Serahkanlah hidupmu kepada Tuhan dan percayalah kepadaNya, dan Ia akan bertindak."

well if i can break it down, it is like this;
1. Roll your way on the Lord (Serahkanlah hidupmu kepada Tuhan)
means : your way = life = hidupmu (all your life, urself, ur worries, ur work, ur business, ur job, ur families, ur want - like literally everything..every single thing in ur life that u worry) on the Lord = kepadaNya (give it to Him, all of those u worry of)

2. Trust also in Him
means : Trust in Him = percayalah kepadaNya (like when u trust ur partner, or husband or wife or mum or dad or children..even if you can't trust any of them, you still can trust HIM the Lord, our creator (He won't harm you but He will teach you to be a better person) - or simply just think what is TRUST.

3. then He will work
means of He will work = Ia akan bertindak (if you trust Him, you give all ur worry to Him, He then will and can work..if you didn't trust Him. how can HE work right? )

For example : an Illustration.
You go to a restaurant to have dinner, lets say a sushi bar.
How can you go there and eat there if you don't trust them. How do you know if they poisoned you, you don't right? why do you wanna go there? coz u trust them, you trust them that they won't poisoned you as their customer :) and you know they serve fresh.
coz if they serve salmon, it must be serve fresh otherwise u will get a full of germ salmon.

okay anyhow..hope whoever read it understand or if no on read it, this is just a reminder for me hehehe...
anyway..i told my mum in law (i don't get used to say mum in law..feels weird) so im just gonna write mum :D
SO i tell mum not to worry coz we aren't supposed to worry..and i myself..no im not worry..i just pray and i know He will work :)

i mean for her age, she shouldn't be worry :( poor her..have to worry about us kids...so sorry mum..

love her like my mum already coz she is too always love me like her own kiddo..like cc cc and hubby..
seriously people..i really thank God for giving me a mum like her..

i mean..it is damn hard to find such a mum in law. all i heard whether it is from my friend or anyone i met. Never did i heard they have such a great mum in law that doesn't treat them like they are the daughter in law.
all i ever heard was how standard and sumtimes bad their mum in law are..

oh..FYI, now i live with mum and dad and sis and famz of my hubby...
and the reaction i got is o my God you live with ur mum in law and sister in law? or
in a better version you live with ur mum and sister in law?

i was like..yeah...why is that a problem and why such a fuss?
and they started to say things what happen if you stay with ur hubby parents and in law..and bla bla bla..

i just laughed at 'em and say..God is good..He gave me such a great family..we never had argument or like fight over things. They are understanding..and they are great..
but me..i'm the one who have to be ashame of myself..coz i sumtimes wake up late and go home late that i rarely helped them in the kitchen..and never did they say a thing or act weird to me...in fact they cooked for us..whoaaa..i really feel shame...

which from now on i should wake up early hehehee..and helped :D Coz the maid can't cook yet and work like a turtle hihihihi...

well...they then woww..u r lucky..yes i am..and mummy friend also often asked her about where do i live with whom..and they also start to yappy yappy..and mummy like cut them and say..oh no..eva have such a great in law, this and those and they were like shut up and only say oh..she's so lucky..mummy like " yeah.. of course she is"
and it's alllllllllllllllllllllllll credited to my one and only God : Jesus Christ :)

Love You Jesus

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

RIP Feeling....

Today , May 04, 2011

hey there feeling..how r u lately...
F : i'm torn apart, i feel numb and i don't think i can survive...

it has gone far away..it's gone without i even realise it...i feel blank and numb...

There's nothing else that i could hold onto...feeling has gone...feeling has died one more time

it rose just to be squeeze to dead...

what to do now....feeling has gone...i felt nothing but hurt,  no more happiness, no more smile, no more things that can make u laugh...everything has become so miserable...tears and sadness

felt betrayed...have u ever feel the same way as i do..yeah that's the word...feel betrayed (not as in affair..no)
it's something else...

i think....it's time for me to decide...to decide what to do next without feeling in me...

who can wake feeling up? i miss feeling...but she doesnt wanna wake up...

The puzzle has once again fall apart...incomplete...who could fix it...
The vase has once again broken...fell into pieces...who could fix it...
The smile has once again dissapear...into darkness...who could fix it...
The feeling has once again die...within me...who could fix it...

God...yes this world is full of hurtful things...it's true...who could fix it..no one but You...

if i gave u my puzzle, my vase, my smile and my feeling...will u take a good care of it?
coz i don't wanna live with any of it anymore..it's too hurtful...

Let them be with you..don't bother to give it back to me...

God...i had enough...just let them rest peacefully...coz i wanna live just for you...with your new love in me...

i am exhausted Lord...i am tired...i wanna have a long long sleep Lord...

a very long sleep......................................................................................................................................

My up and down side

i..just don't know what to say or do or blog..

i don't even know what to do right now...This couple days to be exact since last april until now earlier of may..
i have been in a really up and down life...

we've been fight a lot, argue a lot and disagree to same things (finally) but we have to carry on becoz it has happened....

i've been whinning a lot as well..maybe the period cycle...i've been grumpy and dissapointed and sad and everything mixed into one..

how sad..if i could wrote here..i would but..i can't..it says Love should conquer everything...

all i can tell you here is how sad i am...and how miserable my feelings are..

i couldn't feel a thing but torn apart..no no no..it's not the affair things if you thought that way..it has nothing to do with it at all.. it's other things


well apart from Jesus here with me in spirit...i mean as human i feel...i feel numb...i feel blank...i feel alone :)

today especially..i feel..i don't know...i feel exhausted..and i wanna quit from this things..i wanna have my own freedom..i wanna go...i wanna leave...i don't wanna stay here anymore.

i had enough..i prolly going back to aussie for 3 months first...then decide what to do later...maybe...

i really wish i can say everything here, complain, whinning and all..i wish..i really wish...